One year one day ago my friends and I found out one of our classmates passed away. Even though it is extremely difficult for me to understand his decision, it is true that is was his choice – a choice that should never be on our list of options, but somehow got on his.
Nowadays it may indeed have become a cliché to talk about the story of how a close friend who committed suicide left a mark on your existence – because today there are so many teenagers who decide to put an end to their journeys, journeys which are now seen more and more as nightmares not as the fairy-tales they should actually be. Though their decisions are not to be judged. One can deny and see this as an exaggeration. Stating instead that life is not impeccable or faultless all the time and this is totally right, but the similarities I implied when calling life a fairy-tale are not linking life just to the happy endings. There are always turning points in fairy-tales, horrible things happening most of the times, but the heroes never give up. It is because of their ambitions that the joyful monochrome tone of the end’s view seemed to never have gone through any difficulty. Actually this happiness is to be found in all the colours and this is how fairy-tales relate to life.
Going back, there is a term that I may have used wrong. STORY. We will never truly understand the story behind such an action. I believe stories are about experiences and emotions. We will never know exactly how they felt or the reason that determined them to do this. Most of the time we will not even know the reason. There is an extraordinary wave of overwhelming emotions that get to us, but this is just the sombre smoke smudging our hearts; it is not their flames.
We had 24 days to prepare for this tragic event. 24 days Romania looked for our friend and for 24 days he was not found, so we had 24 days of worries, 24 days of hope. In the end all we had was 24 days to prepare for the worst. One year and a day ago I wouldn’t believe that I would be in Israel now and I would also not believe that my classmate would be gone. Both happened because life brings good and bad things. I was not that close to him and some may blame me for writing about him considering this, but during the time he was missing, many memories came to my mind that I had previously ignored.
Not letting these few memories fade is my way of keeping him alive, because I have already seen what death took from him. I strengthen my belief that no one, regardless how difficult life may be at a point, should stop walking, running or crawling. The only moment when you do this is to admire the view – never to turn back or to sink. We cannot stop for eternity, not even for moments like this because life goes on. With a tear falling on my smiling cheek I move on: tomorrow is my birthday.
Written by Raluca Ciubotariu
Edited by Hannah Cook
Copy-edited by Eng Sou Ea