Dear 2015-2017 EMIS Student,

“Congratulations! We are excited to welcome you into the Middle Eastern Mediterranean International School (EMIS) class of 2017! On behalf of the entire EMIS community, we want to tell you how happy we are to include you in the EMIS family!”

– EMIS Admissions Team.

Well to those who have seen this message, or are hoping to see it promptly, there is also a small message that the admissions team also forgot to include in their welcome pack, below is attached the remainder of the document:


  1. The Middle East is home to some of the funkiest, unbelievable accents, especially when subjugated to the wrath of the English Language, bear with us here…
  2. Hope you had a good last taste of your home-country’s meat, because with the meat here, chances are you’re becoming vegan…
  3. Take your current sleeping hours, take the square root of that number, and BAM! You’ve arrived at your average sleep per night.
  4. Senior Privilege uncompromisingly consists of the following rights:
    1. We get first pick at the bunks…
    2. We call dibs on what laundry days we want… you guys have no clue how vital that is…
    3. We reserve the right to coerce any junior in doing our work
  5. Ornithophobia… the fear of peacocks… I wish for all our sakes you’ve never heard of the word… you’ll get to know what we mean…
  6. “IB therefore I BS” – you’re laughing… but that’s your new national anthem.
  7. You think information spreads fast at your school? Cute.

I hereby declare that I have read, acknowledged, and am in accordance to the EMIS Social Contact 2015 – 2017™.


Please sign here


Written by Tom Sagiv

Edited by Carlos Sevilla

Copy-edited by Maria Tirnovanu