It’s 2 o’clock in the morning and I am sitting and thinking outside of the school, on one of the swings. I just finished watching a romantic movie; “Love and other drugs”. Sometimes I feel romantic movies are a waste of time because they all end the same, but still, they are nice to watch.
Where was I, yeah, right: I was thinking (yes, I have a brain, in case that was the joke that crossed your mind). I have been thinking (and not) about so many things recently. So many! I can say I was thinking about life, but we subconsciously know now that “life” is a very general term to discuss and should be narrowed down. So, I was thinking about what’s next, and what was before.
You hear the phrase: “These two years…in these two years” a lot, but it has not just been two years, it has been a freaking lifetime of ours. This is just another level of it. There are all kinds of things that have happened to our beings and have shaped us: family, friends, strangers, events, losses; all the slaps and kindnesses life have given us.
And, you climb all of these stairs. Let me correct myself: you run* all these stairs. (I get the fact that you might be someone that takes the stairs slowly, but if you’re like me, you don’t). Of course, there are not just stairs there: there is a garden with beautiful tulips (that’s my favourite kind of flower), a mountain, an ocean and always some more stairs. You always want to walk up the stairs, but sometimes you are out of breath and you have to take a break, sometimes you have to climb that huge mountain, and other times you feel like almost drowning in that ocean’s water. I understand that.
Where was I, yeah, right: the next step (coming up soon huh?). Well, some of you know what they are doing, others don’t. What is for sure is that all of us went through a lot during this period. A lot.
Some of you are calm; you have a settled place in a college/university (maybe this was not the college/university of your dreams but it’s still okay). Others somewhat know where they are going but they have some damn useless conditional offers (hi!), so they have to wait a little bit more (‘cause they haven’t been waiting long enough!). You there, find all this idea of deciding so overwhelming; or things didn’t go as you expected, so you want to take a gap year (and you have all these ideas of what to do but all of them start with the word “maybe”). Oh, sorry! Hello, you! Yeah, you’re are not sure as to what you are going to do in a couple of months yet. That’s fine! I admire you a lot for that, by the way. Oh, sorry again! Yeah, I forgot, you are going to that other “school”. What was its name? The IDF? Yeah, I know! Sometimes, you don’t really have a choice!
Remember I talked before about life events and how they shape you? Yes, this is one of them. Just one of them! However it will be-gin, it is going to contribute to the ‘future you’.
What you can do now is make the most of the days that remain before you are officially a high school graduate. Talk to the people you wished you had talked to, ask out the guy/girl you always liked but never had the courage to before (this last one seems hard terrible to do, but trust me, it isn’t), grab a beer with your friends or lover and chill by the beach (no houseparent is reading this, right?). You have done everything you can, so the only thing you can do now is wait for what is coming.
After you finish reading all of this, you might think that it was so cliché (some things are like romantic movies, to be honest), and that you have heard all this bullsh*t a hundred times, but it certainly made me feel better and I hope that it made you feel better, too.
See you around.
Written by: Majlinda Xhaferaj
Edited by: Shy Zvouloun